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I have something heavy on my heart today folks. Today is annual cookie making and candy day and I am not looking forward to it. Not because I don't want to hang out with Sara and the kids. Not because I am worried about over eating on candy. I just realized I do not want to be part of that culture anymore that says "HEY lets overeat from Thanksgiving to Christmas on into New Years" Then people make "resolutions" that they don't plan on keeping or give up when it seems to hard. Only to have the cycle start again the next Thanksgiving and on and on. 

I was part of that culture. I was the person who loved to make things and bake things and share my food with others. I was caught up in thinking that people would like me if they liked my food and to me that was love. It has been an eye opening journey this past year to find out who the real Kim is. 

So I used to make noodles for all the potlucks and stuff at church. I was asked to make some this next week for Sara and her students. It has been so long since I made noodles I had to stop and think do I remember how? There have been many changes in this year long transformation. Not making noodles was part of that. Everyone loves my noodles so with that thought they must love me right? Guess what? They still love me without the noodles. Without the candy,cakes,cookies I have been known to make and take places. I have not gotten to the point of bringing a bag of chips to the potlucks but it has been thrown around as a threat at my house. 
Lifestyle choices bring about change. The way you spend money, the way you cook, the way you view food.

July 29 2000

I have been fat my whole life. When I met Larry I was 400 pounds. I was not always that but bad choices and the love of food got me there in 20 years. I had gastric bypass surgery in 2003. I QUICKLY lost 260 pounds. At my lowest I weighed 140. I looked like death. It was a bad time in my life and the doctors could not figure out what was wrong with me. I had surgery to take off extra skin in 2006. This surgery resulted in a blood clot that has taken me this long to bounce back from it. 
Advocare found my in January of 2012. In the middle of prayer and fast week I was giving up my beloved Mt Dew. I drank at least 3  24 oz per day. Granted I only drank the top half for those of you who know me but still I drank a lot of it and was OK with that. I knew it was important to give up something I loved for fast week and Mt Dew it was. Barb and Scott were on their way home from success school and called me. I was ready to try this drink they had called Spark. LOVED IT. I signed up for the 20% discount and quit buying Mt Dew. Now can I say I never had it since? Nahh that would be a lie. I would go to my cousins and still drink it with her. Once in awhile I would get a coke at Mc Donalds. Then I realized I was not being the person I was saying I was. This year with the release of the can you 24 DVD has been my lifesaving adventure. I started exercising with it 334 days ago. I have written about my struggles and triumphs but it has been the last 3 months I have had the the most revelation on where I am going and what I need to do to get there. 

We did a 24 day challenge before Thanksgiving (doesn't everyone start a lifestyle change before a major holiday?) That led into the discovery of the 39 days to skinny. I am now on day 26 of that. What a wonderful plan for eating well and losing weight. I get to control how much I eat. No plan tells me. I get to decide how I want my fish or chicken cooked. I have to use my brain and listen to my stomach when it tells me to stop. What a concept that I have the power to lose weight. Not a magic pill. Not some weight loss surgery. I am making good choices everyday to become healthier in this part of my life.

Yesterday as part of the 39 days to Skinny plan you get 3 choice days. Eat what you want just don't binge eat or eat the whole pan. I thought great its Christmas candy and cookie weekend and I was looking forward to eating junk. Until yesterday. I did not eat horrible but I ate things I had not had in awhile and I was sick. I was physically sick on my food choices. I did not take my vitamins or meal replacer in the morning and by 8pm I was ready for bed. Today is a new day and I am back on vitamins and meal replacer for breakfast. I am looking forward to making cookies but really not eating them. I never would have thought I would say such a thing. Yet here I am knowing that I could eat some of everything today and not binge and be OK. I am making a choice not to.


I am going to share some pictures here today of my journey. 

This was me on Jan 15th 2013. Larry took my picture I hated it.

This is me in March with Johnny Loper from the Can You 24 DVD.I was excited to meet him.

This is me in July I think with Sara Juve. Wellman native and also on the CU24 DVD.

This is November 8th 2013 Ladies Alive with Brenna and me with Crystal Thurber.
Brenna down 40 pounds and me down 25 for the year.

 Nov 26 2013 in Des Moines with Brenna, Brandon, Me and mark Leitgeb. I look really
small here short and thin.